Monday, May 17, 2010

Welcome to Boca

It's 6:30 in the evening and I'm at Starbucks (once again!). Soon, I'll be heading home to have something to eat and check in with the other half, who spent most of today studying. I hope that all this work eventually pays off for him. It would be nice to be financially comfortable but I'd settle for happy. I hope it brings him the satisfaction that he's accomplished quite a bit since we left Orlando. While his education/career seem to be taking off, I've been feeling a little left out. Like my time has come already and there were no takers.

I sit either at home or, as in today, a quiet spot on the campus waiting for John to finish up his studying. Today it's with a tutor and soon we will be leaving for Ft. Lauderdale so that he can finish studying with his lesbian classmate. Most likely, I'll be dumped at Brew and there I will occupy my time until he's finished. Not that I mind too much. It's coffee, treats, new faces and some quality internet time. What's not to love?
I think I have a dentist appointment next week to rip the teeth from my lower jaw. I'm not looking forward to it, however, I've worried about it for so long, I just want it to be over with.

My plan of increasing my writing output has not materialized yet, but I haven't quite given up on it yet. I sense that all the pieces are there, swirling about me and it's just a matter of time until something clicks. I certainly hope so. With John making such progress at school, I've been feeling like the house idiot as of late. Of course, I know the truth and that does comfort me, but I'd like a little more. A little more attention. This is where I start whining and as John says, "Going in circles."  
My success or failure depends on me. If I want to write, then I should just write. 

My father had major surgery on his knees a while back, and while he was in no danger, it did remind me of his and my mother's mortality. I can't imagine them not being here, but then, I never imagined my beloved Mimi not being here either. One more season and it will have been a year. I still miss her and thinking about her still makes me cry. Oh well. 

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