Sunday, January 24, 2010

Almost There

We spent the afternoon yesterday in a coffee shop not far from where we will be living. I thought it felt more like a restaurant than a coffee shop and wasn't so thrilled. Starbucks still beats it. Afterwards, we joined Glen and Alan for dinner at J.Alexanders which, of course, was delicious. It was nice being out and everything and I'm hoping we can do this more often. I'm looking forward to finding a routine for me: either going over to Starbucks or to the library. If I can pick up a bike cheaply, I may add going to the beach to my daily routine.
I've been thinking about playing golf...well, remembering when I played golf. I've been remembering the various venues I've played at and especially how I felt somewhere on the back 9, far away from the clubhouse. Usually, it was very quiet and remote feeling. I felt relaxed and content and was enjoying my company. I didn't like playing alone, as I played too fast and was always coming up on golfers ahead of me. I always felt like I was intruding on their time as I would when people used to play through on me. Because I quit right when things were crazy with my brain, it's almost as if it's been tainted or forbidden to play. When in fact, it's just something I haven't done in a while. Who knows if I'll play again when we move to Boca. Perhaps if I find a driving range or course nearby that doesn't charge an arm and a leg...
I've thought of going back to school to focus on my writing when we move. With John and David there all the time, it would be pretty easy to get around. I guess I need to ask myself if this is really my passion still. Do I still feel that writing a book is my dream?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Glass Half-Full

The time is coming quickly when we will be moving out of the place I have called home for the last 7 years. This is the same place where I recovered from cancer and the side effects of treatment. It's also where I came to the sad realization in a phone call to my mother that I would probably never work again because of the brain damage caused by the cancer. It's where I cradled our wonderful kitty one more time before we took her to the vet to be put to sleep and it's where I received a phone call from my father telling me that my beloved grandmother had died.
Ultimately, it's not any more sad or tragic than any one else. These incidents occur in all our lives and we process them and move on. I can still remember being in junior high school as classes ended and planning to meet up with someone later that afternoon. This wasn't just anyone however. It was with one of the more popular kids at school and we were going to hang out and watch the track team or something like that. Yes, it was a man-date and I was kind of excited about getting the opportunity to hang out with the "cool kids". I came home to dump off my books, grab a snack and then head back to the school, when my mother stopped me, her eyes red and told me my grandfather had died that afternoon of a heart attack. And so, at that moment, life shifted gears on me.
They say that some people are carried along by life, gently carrying them to the next event and others are swept off their feet, colliding into the next set of circumstances before they've had a chance to catch their breath. I've been lucky, either by circumstance or stubbornness, but I have survived so far and the glass is still half-full.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Saturday - January 2, 2010

I went to breakfast by myself this morning and promptly forgot all my rules about what I can eat. Well, maybe "ignored" is a better word, but it sure was good! I don't think the world will change though...
John is off today to meet an old friend of his whom I can't stand. Good riddance I say. He'll probably be gone most of the day and probably dinner so it's gonna be just me for the rest of the day. I had a wonderful surprise on Facebook today. An old friend from Orlando contacted me from somewhere in Wisconsin. I think he and I would have been inseparable if we weren't already married to different people. But, as it is, he's happy and so am I. Still, it was a great thrill to hear from him.
The barista here looks great with his haircut. But then, I've always been kind of sweet on him...
My online friend just told me he is HIV+...I was initially very upset, thinking of all the crap he's going to have to go through now. Hell, I still am. I've always thought of him as naively sweet with an inferiority complex that makes him a target for people who aren't very nice to him. I think he's doing okay these days, but everybody is different in how they process this bit of information. I hope it doesn't ruin him like it did me.

Friday, January 1, 2010

New Years Day @ Brew

Sitting here like the old guy from Family Guy at all the college kids here. To my right, there was suddenly a reunion/introduction of people coordinated by the girl who works here. Guess what the prevalent study was? That's right. Theater and Music... Back in my day, that was almost guaranteed homo studies, but I think things have changed quite a bit. Or not. I don't know.
Also here, are the usual studs in their baggy shorts and breath-taking smiles. They're all watching the football on TV, which I think usually guarantees a bunch of straight guys. If only they knew what kind of effect they have on the gay boys...
There is definitely an abundance of oddballs today at Brew. I don't know if it's the coffee or what, but I'm pretty sure they don't have any handouts here
Today we had breakfast at Courtyard to celebrate New Years. Last night was spent at David's playing "Scene It" in which I kicked ass. It was eerily quiet when we left, but then it is the suburbs. I saw one house with a bunch of cars surrounding it. Obviously, someone was having a party.
Resolutions for the new year? Well, "perhaps to resist the surgeon's knife for another year"....
Uh...the usual. I want to write more. I want to get my stuff out there and be known. I want to be famous...well, duh. I don't really want to continue this boring and unsatisfying life that I'm currently living. I have no excuses any more.
Wilton Drive was jumping last night as we drove into our neighborhood. I'm glad to see that. I like living near where there is life and activity.
Once again, I am trying to convince myself to commit to a writing schedule. Instead, I find myself signing up for watercolor painting with John. There was something that I read once about stimulating one side of your creativity in order to cultivate the other side. Perhaps that's the case with this, perhaps it will stimulate the writing side of my creativity.
John is near completion of his degree and we're talking about moving. We're looking towards Boca to be near school, his mom and brother and near some coffee places or library for me.
Well, that's it for now. I'm gonna try to write more often. Ultimately, daily?