Sunday, June 14, 2009

Friday Night Comedy

Tonight after work, I went by the Home Depot (in our neighborhood aka Homo Depot) to pick up a pot to replant a palm tree for the porch. Boring. So I find the pot I wanted, some Aztec-y sun-god thing, and it's heavy! So I'm lugging this thing around because it's the last one and I don't want someone else scarfing it up while I'm looking for those little overflow trays that go under the pots, which by the way, are so last year. It seems the latest thing in catching excess seepage from your foliage are these giant cork coasters. Yeah, that's what I thought too. So I bought six. After one lap around the garden department, struggling with 50 lbs of awkwardly shaped terra cotta, I decided to put it down before I dropped it. As there was this Jamaican women eyeing my prized pot, I didn't want to leave it anywhere, lest she snag it, so I did the only mature thing: I hid it behind some bags of fertilizer when she wasn't looking.
The next stop for the evening was the drugstore to pick up some prescriptions, which by the way, were not ready earlier today as promised. What a surprise! So I'm patiently waiting with my best blank expression on as the friendly but undereducated clerk is attempting to ring up Old Grouchy Gus in front of me, who is getting grouchier by the moment and smells. Finally, it's my turn and *Eureka* my prescription is ready! So, being one of those people who can never just go into the store and leave with what I came for, I decided to browse around, because there was bound to be something I just had to have or needed. With my mouthwash, can of cashews (on sale!), and peanut butter cookies in hand I tried to remember if there was anything I NEEDED. Nah...let's go. So I paid for my useless crap, rung up by a way too perky lady up front, slipped out the front door and hurried home...
Only to realize once I walked in the door was that I forgot to pick up some detergent for the dishwasher as I noticed the ever growing pile of dishes in the sink. Yeah, I know, god forbid somebody in this household washes them by hand! Smart, yet lazy guy that I am decided that just a tiny bit of laundry detergent and a little bleach would do the trick instead of getting back into the car and going to the corner foodmart for some Electrasol. Now any fool knows that regular soap/detergent is too foamy for a dishwasher. How many times have we seen Lucy do it? So I added just a teeny, tiny bit and turned it on. About 5 minutes later, I checked on it and since there wasn't an avalanche of foam cascading across the kitchen floor, I figured everything was fine. A little later, I went to pull a spring-fresh clean glass out of the dishwasher and was treated by the stench of clammy, hot, and UNCLEAN dishes! I guess there's a reason why you have to use more than a tablespoon of laundry detergent to clean anything. I'm sure my physics/science major boyfriend will explain to me why but in the meantime, I'll just shut the door on the dishwasher and hope nobody notices. Oh, and pick up some Electrasol tomorrow....

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